Stanley Wonders – the Halesville Herald’s Cheers and Jeers

Far be it from Stanley to dis a fellow media outlet.  No, you will not hear the name calling of the “Slantagraph” of the “PantaRag” from Stanley.  Let’s just respectfully refer to it as the “Halesville Herald” which pretty much sums up the “Everything’s up to date in Halesville” philosophy it exudes.  Oh and, let’s not forget, he’s even more up to date in that oh-so-correct enclave to the north, beautiful Average.

Actually, Stanley secretly admires the Herald for giving readers a quick guide to all that’s good and bad in Halesville with the editorial “Cheers and Jeers”.

Mostly Cheers, as is only right for the official keeper of Halesville / Average’s sunny image.

So we can safely cheer for the teacher who tackled the armed student (do you think?) and safely jeer at the nasty old drought we suffered (REALLY!!), but don’t worry about ever seeing a discouraging word on say Average’s 80 million dollar building boom debt.  Likewise, the police and fire pension $120,000,000 shortfall in Halesville.  After all, if we “Jeered” about the City’s over spending we might have to blame someone.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not believe a mean old jeer will ever darken the day of any of Halesville’s anointed.  Call them the In Crowd if you prefer.

Oh, but wait, you say, there was a searing editorial on the stratosphereic State debt.  Yes, there was, and the Herald went on record as blaming . . . I quote – “everyone”.  Wow!  That lets our lovable state legislators (so loved they have no opponents) off the hook.  After all, naming names is far too risky, and the Herald dare not annoy the king or his chosen minions – you know who they are, if you are paying attention.

And if you live in a box and don’t know, just watch Cheers and Jeers.  Cheers they’re in – Jeers – they’re out.  And I promise no Jeers to any of the chosen or to any leading institutions.  That could upset an advertiser.  Gasp, Gasp!  And without them – Honey, I shrunk the Herald even more!

So rest assured, Stanley will personally move into that box if you ever see a jeer to Mayor GotStock’s or his merry band of 4 who seem to have violated the Open Meetings Act on the Peoria road trip.

Maybe a gentle tsk, tsk, but we’ll reserve the jeers for anyone who dares to mention the financial cliff we are rapidly approaching.  And we won’t invite them on the road trip either.

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