Comedy: More than 200 NEW LAWS!


Govern yourself as America was founded?

In that belief Illinois is not grounded.


Killing babies while making you pay

Is how business is done in Illinois USA.

Abortion is protected, Supreme Court be damned

If they outlaw the murders SC ruling is canned.  (HB 40)


Obscene cyberstalking can be a hate crime

Too bad Tari wasn’t covered back a few years in time. (HB 3711)


Charging women more to cut their hair

Is now gender based discrimination, if just isn’t fair. (HB 298)


Negative reviews getting deleted on Yelp?

Illinois wants you protected, they just want to help.  (SB 1898)


Animals used for research homes they must find

Babies murdered in wombs, oh never mind. (SB 1884)


Elephants travelling to delight young kids

Are banned because Illinois forbids.  (SB 1342)


Birth certificate says girl but you are a boy?

Change it yourself, no surgery needed in Illinois. (HB 1785)


Obama is seeing his legacy destroyed

August 4th is his day so he’s not totally annoyed.  (SB 55)


With no major problems for lawmakers to solve

Cycling is the official exercise, they did so absolve (HB 2895)


Corn is now the official grain

Unpaid bills and crushing pensions aren’t really a drain.  (HB 470)


Repeat gun offenders get more jail time

Illinois finally realizes that is a serious crime!  (SB 1722)


Breastfeeding moms need a place in their school

It must be viewed as being really cool.  (HB 2369)


Expel a problem from Early Childhood Education?

State Board of Ed must find the problem a new location.  (HB 2663)


Feminine hygiene products must be available for free

That’s in schools and they wonder why taxes force people to flee (HB 3215)


Recreational Trails will continue to be funded

If bikers don’t use them no taxes refunded.  (HB 2725)


Younger than 2 backwards you must ride

Feet jammed in face doesn’t matter, some pain you must abide (HB 4377)


Unfunded liabilities didn’t get fixed.

Regulations forcing businesses out of Illinois didn’t get fixed.

Illinois continues to be at the bottom of the list of best run states.  2019 will cement last place.

See a complete list of new bills here:

4 thoughts on “Comedy: More than 200 NEW LAWS!

      1. The Governor is like the President, they set Policy and lead……at least when things are good you point that out……but you did bang that old head.


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